Sunday, March 11, 2007

What A Nightmare! HAHA! Oh Me!

Nightmare City or Incubation of a Contaminated City as it's Italian title would have been originally is really something. All I’ll say about this film before describing it is that in the documentary Tales from a Contaminated City contained on the DVD, Umberto Lenzi, director of The Man From Deep River, Cannibal Ferox and other Italian masterpieces has this to say, “Consider AIDS and how people infected with AIDS have a similar breakdown to the characters in Nightmare City.” Umberto Lenzi just insinuated that AIDS was some sort of copy cat virus that took after the characters in a zombie movie. Astounded? Well, let’s let him explain. “Do you remember in Philadelphia, how it started with a slight outbreak, the fear of appearing different, the breakdown of the physical body, which continues until everyday life is desecrated, this leads to the desolation of social relationships in the organized society, the American society. That’s how it happens in my film in a much more fantastic way.” Yeah, I do remember that. Maybe if you'd put any of it into this piece of shit, it might have been worth a damn. Wait, a minute, did he just compare AIDS to zombiedom? DO YOU SERIOUSLY THINK YOU CAN COMPARE AIDS TO BEING A ZOMBIE, YOU MISERABLE FUCK!? Nevermind that the AIDS crisis wouldn't become public knowledge until about six years after he finished this fucking thing and the idea of a director retroactively trying to shove some meaning into his movie is about the most arrogant thing in the world. He couldn't even subconsciously have been thinking about AIDS because it wasn't even called AIDS (when it replaced the acronym GRID) until 1982. He also compares zombies to the anthrax scare a few years ago. Anything to justify your existence, eh pal?

Lenzi: “It’s a film totally based on reality.”

Nightmare City
by Umberto Lenzi

Starring Hugo Stiglitz. Umberto Lenzi on Stiglitz: “Hugo was a star in mexico, at least he was twenty years ago. As an actor he was insignificant. He wasn’t a great actor but I had to hire him because of the higher-ups.”

02:25 Newsman from the BWC tells the public about a potential radioactive spill.

03:05 Ace reporter Dean Miller is sent out by his boss to greet nuclear scientist Otto Haganbach at the airport to quell the public’s worries.

04:14 A UFO is discovered on the green high pitch meter at the airport control tower.

04:35 Guy on radio pronounces ‘data’ like ‘dada’.

05:17 The plane comes in for a landing, a military plane with no markings on it.

06:19 A yellow van is dispatched and some guys in orange jumpsuits shout at the plane. There is no answer.

06:40 Fire trucks, English police officers, volkswagon eurovans with lights and siren, a truck load of heavily armed Cuban revolutionaries rushes to the scene.

07:40 The police give them 30 seconds in the name of the law to come out with their hands up.

08:10 Military guy looks at his watch. Miller gets antsy.

08:27 The plane door opens. Haganbach steps out and….

08:45 Stabs the military guy. Dozens of zombies follow with axes, knives, sickles, guns, sticks, pipes, chains, hammers, wire, boomerangs, rulers, files and other stuff and start beating up the soldiers and occasionally sucking on their wounds. One zombie has his arm shot off. Miller is unharmed and escapes with his camera man in a VW bus.

10:30 The guys in the control tower die of shame.

11:14 A sexy dance program called “It’s All Music” is in full swing on Miller’s beloved BWC, for some reason. The camera men wear white coats, like doctors. Miller doesn’t interrupt the sanctity of the dance for a couple of minutes.

12:34 Guy in white coat makes rascist joke when Miller demands airtime for no reason.

13:06 The dancers lament their lost airtime. Miller starts yammering about the attack, but the chief cuts him off and demands that the dancers be put back on the air, and they do so with gusto and tact.

14:08 General Murchison tells Miller to keep his lousy mouth shut so that he doesn’t cause a panic. The defense department says not to interfere or make a fuss.

14:53 We are given our first hint as to the location of this movie. “in a democratic country, nobody is allowed to interfere with the freedom of the press.” This rules out the movie taking place in Cuba, China or Laos. Miller is then suspended for his impudence.

17:00 The first breasts of the film are seen. They belong to Sheila, the wife of a military advisor who is called in by General Murchison.

20:23 Zombies attack the dancers, their sexy blue leotards can’t save them from the knives of zombies. For some reason most of the women run screaming with one or more breasts exposed.

23:10 Ace reporter Dean Miller rescues everyone by throwing a television at some zombies, which then explodes.

25:40 Miller’s wife makes small talk with the ugliest men in the hospital. One suffers from dementia and mentions the “hatchet man”. For some reason nobody knows that there are zombies outside about 20 minutes away.

27:00 The military is clueless

32:57 A lawnmower powers itself across that first naked girls lawn. Why?

35:15 General Murchison’s daughter and her husband discuss the fussy nature of generals and a guy in a red beret comes and requests they come with him. Zombies cut the phone line and so the two smartly decide that the best course of action is to sneak out in an RV and the soldier guy is killed.

38:30 Zombies outsmart the military and show up in a big van and hit everyone to death with sticks, then cut the cities power. Just like in Philadelphia.

43:19 Miller, now looking for his surgeon wife passes a hospital elevator, contemplates helping the trapped hospital aides and patients, but decides against it. meanwhile his wife Anna goes to the plasma room and is assaulted by zombies, just narrowly surviving their undead wiles.

45:30 Husband and wife are reunied

46:00 Surgery is interrupted by zombies looking for blood. A whoosh noise is heard when the head surgeon throws a scalpel at a zombie. Downstairs, breasts are exposed and women are murdered.

48:17 A zombie wipes his mouth of blood. The trend continues throughout the film.

50:25 The elevator scene from Dawn of the Dead.

55:35 The following conversation takes place between the general’s daughter and her husband in their vacation spot, which appears to be an infrequently visited road. “They declared a state of emergency.”
“A state of emergency? Are they crazy?”
“I, I don’t know. it’s difficult to understand, but we should go back to town.”
"But we just arrived. I have no intention of giving up my weekend. To hell with the soldiers.”
"Listen, you’re my wife and I love you.”
Lenzi: “I hated the shooting script.”

56:55 The general’s daughter’s friends arrive and they are now harpoon zombies. They harpoon the two and then eat them.

01:04:08 Miller and his wife find a gas station, which appears safe. Too safe. Oh and there’s a bloody axe there.

01:06:05 the following is said:
Miller: “Just like a western.”
Miller’s wife: “Except that they didn’t have instant coffee in the good old days. Another advantage of civilization, my dear. Like Coca Cola or nuclear energy. We’d be a whole lot healthier without all that stuff.”
“This is good (indicating the coffee). Do you think we should give up the advantages we have gained.”
“Maybe It would be better. However, it’s not the fault of science and technology, but of man.”

01:07:21 A radio announcer estimates damage in the hundreds of thousands. Of what?

01:12:00 Spousal abuse calms Miller’s wife

01:16:00 Miller’s wife: “remember the medieval legend: If they’re really vampires, they can’t enter the house of god.”
Lenzi: “they’re more like vampires than zombies.”

01:16:30 Miller kills a zombie priest.

01:24:56 Miller and his wife run up a roller coaster for safety.

01:27:35 After a botched helicopter rescue, Miller’s wife falls to her death, but…

01:27:43 Miller wakes up from a dream. Although he’s late, he is still thrilled about his assignment, to interview nuclear scientist professor Haganbach.

01:28:01 Déjà vu. Or, no I'm sorry, recycled footage. That's what I meant. This is the same goddamn footage from the beginning.

01:30:46 The Nightmare Becomes Reality.

Historical significance: running zombies. Not the first, that honor belongs to The Messiah of Evil, but early nevertheless. That's about it. Enjoy!

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